Anonymous said: Selfie with a spoon?
Why a spoon?
#FlashbackFriday to a year ago when I went to EDC NYC with my best friend, Sara. It was a wild time and such a memorable day from last year. I wish I could have gone this year, but I signed up for the Color Run in Rochester before I had known the EDC date in NYC. I really hope to go to another festival some time soon!
Sorry the sound quality sucks, this was when I still had my crappy LG phone.
This is Porter Robinson btw
Anonymous said: Aha okay, I'm looking forward to it! That's also a really sexy picture... Just saying.
I just finished it a little while ago, it’s continued from the same post. And haha thanks.
I’m not sure but this question just popped into my head.
What makes you happy? What puts the biggest grin on your face? What makes you feel like you’re on top of the world and that you can do anything?
I’d love to know your answers.
Anonymous said: You didn't finish the post! :)
i know i know. i had work yesterday haha but i will finish it today! :)
I just had one of the best weekends ever. I drove down to Atlantic City and met up with a few friends for my old roommates 21st birthday. It was a blast.
We started drinking at around 1 on Saturday along with having a nice little sit down lunch. After, we explored the boardwalk a bit then did some gambling! I’ve never gambled before and I’ve never been a fan but I figured I’d try it at least once since I was there. It was pretty fun, but Im still not a fan haha We figured we’d all need a good amount of time to pre game and get ready for the Michael Buble Concert, so we went back to the hotel room, we Stayed at the Trump Taj Mahal btw, and got ready for the night. We walked to the concert hall since it wasn’t too far from the hotel. We got a lot of stares. Mostly because Rebecca had a sash and tiara saying it was her birthday lol but not gonna lie, we looked real good. The concert was absolutely amazing. I expected nothing less from Mr. Buble. He started off the concert by describing it as a date and how he likes to start things off slow and hopefully by the end, we’ll have some great sex. Hey…I’m not complaining hahaah At the end, he even sang with no mic or music. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve witnessed. My heart was seriously crying.
After the concert, we walked back to the hotel to change into our going out clothes. We all looked hot. If you have my instagram, I posted pictures of all of us.
We ended up going to Revel’s HQ Nightclub. $30 cover charge, but for something I don’t do very often and for my friends birthday, I dropped the cash. We got in and it was seriously something I’ve seen in movies. Flashing colorful lights, dancing, a DJ at the front, hot guys and girls everywhere and lots of celebrating! We went in, got ourselves drinks and headed over to the dance floor to dance our butts off. After a little dancing, this guy asked Becca and I (Jordan had gone to the bathroom) if we wanted to come into their VIP section. It was a bunch of dudes celebrating god knows what. They all were filipino so we bonded over that. They gave us shots of Grey Goose, I had to spit mine out bc I had already been drinking a lot and it just tasted unpleasant (call me a grandma, whatever.) So it got a little weird when they tried to dance with us, I wasn’t feeling it and neither was Becca so we ran out and went to find Jordan. i wanted water, so I went to the bar and as Becca was following me, some guy stopped her, picked her up and proceeded to make out with her. WHAT. crazy. I denied the water since it was $7, and tried to wiggle my way out of the bar line. After I broke free, I waited until becca was done with her guy. He actually seemed pretty cute. So that was over, and we ended up finding Jordan! but one of our friends was waiting at the door (bc she couldn’t get in) so Jordan left to get her. While BEcca and I were waiting again, this one guy came up to me and asked if he could use my light up thing to harass the guy in the Winnie the Pooh costume. I said fine as long as he gave it back. I have no idea what he did with it, but he gave it back..so he stopped to talk to becca and I and asked why we were there. When we told him we were celebrating her birthday, he offered to buy her a drink. He was there with some friends for a 21st birthday also. We talked to them while we waited for Jordan. Eventually we went back to dancing. Jordan came back with no courtney bc she still couldn’t get in..so we danced our way up to the front by the DJ, snuck into a VIP booth and danced right there on the counter next to the DJ. It felt really empowering being able to see everything. We saw the balcony and Jordan said that we should go up there and all we had to do was take the elevator up. So we did..and when we got there it was all VIP..Im surprised they didn’t stop us.
So we walked over to the balcony of a VIP section not really paying attention to what kind of group was there. A couple of guys started to talk to Jordan and Becca and told us they were there for their friends bachelor party. They were pretty cool about letting us crash their party and gave us some shots. They were all really nice and told us they were stockbrokers from NYC. I was talking to this one guy who is the doorman for some parties in NYC and he ended up giving me his number in case I wanted to get into any. score. They gave us more shots, but I denied. Last time I drank to crazily, I was sick the whole next day..and I had to keep in mind that I had to drive myself home the next afternoon. As the night went on, some of the guys from the bachelor party left bc they wanted to go home (i think) but the guys we were all talking to stayed with us. They were all too sweet..I barely remember their names except for Paul ( the guy who gave me his number), Kevin and Mike. They asked us if we wanted to come back to their Hotel with them to hang out, they were staying at the Borgata, but it was a 10 min drive from where we were. They said they’d pay for a taxi to bring us back, but that was a little sketch..and we didn’t have a reason to go back with them so we said no thanks. one of the guys I had spoken to was saying how they couldn’t find their man guy, the Bachelor..the most important part of their trip. (I think his wedding has happened by now if not tomorrow..Congrats!) They were all freaking out bc they tried to call his phone but couldn’t reach him. They knew he had left the club, but didn’t know where he went. The VIP balcony was closing (it was about 4AM by this time), and Jordan and I were getting hungry..more so since we were talking about food BEFORE we went out. So we left to go downstairs thinking Becca and Courtney (Oh yeah, she ended up getting in and found us on the 4th floor balcony..she ended up having a great time!) were following us. We took the elevator down (the other girls took the stairs) when we got in the elevator, the guy said it wasn’t going to the club, it was going back down to the casino..so Jordan and I took it anyway bc we wanted food..we got to the casino and waited for a bit for Becca and Courtney but after a while we just assumed they were still dancing so we left. On our way out, Jordan and I found the missing bachelor! He was in the casino the whole time. We told him how his friends who were still in the club were looking frantically for him and he said his phone had died so he couldn’t reach them either. He thanked us and said they’d eventually figure it out that he was in the casino waiting for them.
Jordan and I struggled to leave with our feet in pain in the 5inch torture chambers we put them in (our heels.) So when we got out of Revel, we ditched our shoes and went barefoot. EVen that hurt, but it was the lesser of the two evils. When we got to our hotel, we immediately looked for food. Panda express was closed but the food place we kept walking by during the day was still open thank goodness. we order lo main to satisfy our drunk cravings..and it was delicious. I had been texting becca to see if she was alright and she seemed fine to me through text so i wasn’t too worried. even when she’s drunk, she can still manage to find her way with courtney. so after finishing our food, we left and went to the room..as i was washing my face, Jordan was already in bed and fell asleep with her water bottle in her hand. Too funny. I passed out right after when I got into bed.
The next morning, I woke up to Becca and Courtney back in the room passed out. Once we were all awake and cleaning the room to leave for check out, Jordan and I found out Becca and Courtney basically had another life after we had left them at Revel. THey went to some guys room in Revel and Becca won $21 in Craps. I’m surprised none of us woke up married or with a tattoo…
To say the least, this past weekend was crazy. I wish I could do it all over again…if only I had the money. My life was a movie and I lived like a celebrity. This coming weekend, I’ll be celebrating my other friends’ 21st birthdays. Can’t wait to see what will come of that ;)
So this past week my older sister, her husband, and their dog have been in town! They got here last Saturday and are staying until July 6th I think. I’m really just trying to spend as much time with her as I can cause well…1. I don’t have many friends to hang out with and 2. She’s the only sister I have! It’s been so much fun hanging out with her and Jonny and Milo (their dog.) I love having her around because she’s always so happy. It’s a nice contrast for me because I’m always so….not happy. I feed off the energy of the room so when I’m alone all the time I’m just a blob. I don’t talk much either, but just having her presence around makes me happy.
So far we’ve gone to the city, went to a bonfire, visited my aunt, and have done a bunch of other things together! We’ve never been close up until now. I’m kind of happy about that because I can appreciate her more. I always was and still am that annoying little sister to her. And I will never stop (insert evil laughter here.)
I’m really glad that my sister and Jon were about to visit NY for a little while since I never see them! (They live in Tennessee.) The last time I got to see them was way back in December for a few days, and before that back in May/June 2013 for a week.
I’m just very happy :)
I’m just going to take a little time to rant about my personal life once more.
There was this guy who I met last year and started to talk to. We hit it off right away and became really good friends. We talked everyday for a really long time. In that time, I became so comfortable with him in a way I never really have been with anyone else. This is what really drew me to him. He’s so laid back, patient, and understanding..not to mention incredibly adorable. He’s cute in his own little quirky way. I was quite attracted to him, inside and out. For me, that’s quite difficult since I’m incredibly picky for looks (i know thats shallow.) He reminded me all the time that he wasn’t judging me and that was something I needed. For the first time in a long time, I was 100% comfortable with someone I barely knew. He was my go-to guy for a lot of things, and I ended up falling for him. Luckily for me, he liked me too. We hung out a lot last summer, and continued to talk even when I went back to school for the year.
Time went by, and things started to die down. I didn’t take it too seriously at first because people get busy and that happens. In march, something in his life happened and he needed some time off from everything for a while. Unannounced, we didn’t talk to each other for 3 weeks. Up until then, that was the longest we had ever gone without talking to one another. We eventually started to talk again, but things were noticeably different in how we talked to each other. It became less and less everyday, and that really started to bring me down. Where was the person I fell for? Where was the person I had met last summer who I could talk to anything about? Time in-between texts took so long that we could barely finish a conversation, and I wasn’t able to talk to him about anything. But still..I was excited to come home after a long year and hang out with him again.
Jumping forward to today..we’re not longer talking. We had decided that we wanted different things at this point. It hurt me probably more than it hurt him to stop talking to each other. The thing is, we were never together between the time we started talking and ended. When we first started talking, all I wanted was a friend. I wanted someone I could talk to about anything, and someone who I could hang out with. I had never wanted to like anyone because when you become vulnerable, it sucks to get hurt like I am right now. But I inevitably fell for him. I did exactly what I did not want to do, and now I face the consequences.
Now that we’re not talking, all I want is my friend back. I want the person who randomly messaged me on twitter and instantaneously became my friend. But things change…and I don’t believe I will ever get that back. I wish I could say all of this to him. I wish we could be friends again and talk like we once did. I wish that he would want the same and for us to be friends again. He really left a mark on me and I don’t know how he did it but he did. I don’t need him so I can be happy. I’ve proven to myself that I can be happy on my own. Its just that his presence was so comforting. I guess this summer fling just over-stayed it’s welcome.
At this point, I can only wish him happiness.
So, in the fall I’m going to be a senior music performance major at IC! My journey has been nothing but crazy. I came in as a music education major thinking I wanted to spread love for music by educating children in how fun and beautiful music is. I quickly realized that I didn’t really want to do that and it really was not for me to be patient enough with children and teens. Yikes. I re-auditioned for music performance because I really wanted to become a better player/performer and to record film scores. But what some people don’t realize that being a performance major is really difficult. If you’re not always (and I mean ALWAYS) 110% committed, you will fall behind. I love playing, but keeping up with practicing every day (and practicing more than I should because I’m not very good,) is stressful. The pressure to be better than others in my field and be perfect while still being human is very stressful. For some people, it’s a lifestyle. It is how they live. For me, I like doing other things like working out and going out with my friends and I enjoy creating time for all of that. Being a classical musician (specially an oboist) means hours everyday by yourself practicing and making reeds. I’m not really a fan of being alone all the time.
This summer I’ve been really trying to do some soul searching. I’ve always been a “late bloomer.” but I realize that I don’t want that musician lifestyle. I’d love to play on the side, but I want more stability. One of my girlfriends suggested I go into communications. She’s an Integrated Marketing and Communications major at IC. I’ve been talking a lot lately about music business, but I couldn’t get into any business classes for the semester coming up. She told me about what she did at her internship last summer and how they did PR for music festivals and fitness brands..which sounds awesome! It combines two things I love: Music and Fitness!
So I’ve been thinking about maybe trying to get into a communications class in the fall to get some experience with it and looking for an internship for something like that. The only thing that stops me all the time is that I always think it’s too late. But I need to start making moves for my future. I want to start my path towards a career and to get to the life I want. I’m grateful though to have some friends in that field to help me out!